


it's you

by astarisms



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Stargazing, eien said she wanted something fluffy for her birthday and i tried to deliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 23:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarisms/pseuds/astarisms
Summary: it would always come back to them. set during the memory arc.





	it's you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [indraaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indraaas/gifts).



“Grab your comforter.”

“What? Why?”

“We’re going out.”

“Out? It’s almost 10PM — what are you doing?”

Lucifer sighs, running a hand down his face as he stops at the shift in Natalie’s voice, from something disbelieving to just shy of fearful.

He’s so used to ignoring her questions, both in favor of the surprise and because he hasn’t the time nor the patience to answer all fifty she tries to throw at him in a breath, that he forgets he can’t do that anymore.

Not while part of her memory is missing and she’s still getting used to the idea of living with the Devil.

“We’re just going out into the yard,” he says, trying to temper his voice. “On clear nights you… we would go look at the stars.”

She narrows her eyes at him, a little suspiciously.

“We did?”

“Yes.” He tries not to bristle at her skepticism. “You once said you dragged me out there all the time to remind me that I’m not as big or important as I think I am.” He only says it to put her at ease, and it works. He watches her shoulders relax and sees the start of a smile she can’t help, but he looks away at the pang of the memory.

“Anyways,” he continues under his breath, “I thought it wouldn’t hurt to keep some part of your old routine. Maybe it’ll jog something in that empty head of yours?”

He side steps her and swipes her comforter from her bed, turning and marching out of her room and down the stairs. Natalie stares after him, not sure whether to be offended, before she realizes it was a joke and trails after him.

He’s already spread it out over the grass, in a spot where the view is clear of the overhang of the roof and of the few trees and bushes on the far side of the yard.

“Well?” Natalie starts when she realizes she’s just been staring, and laughs nervously as she approaches and sits on the edge. He doesn’t comment on her distance, just lays down on the other side, folding his arms beneath his head.

She watches him for a moment before following his lead.

They’re both quiet for several minutes, before Natalie glances at him.

“What is it?”

“Is this… Well, is this it?”

Lucifer turns his head a fraction and raises an eyebrow at her.

“What?”

“I mean, is this all we did? Usually? Before? Just come out here and sit quietly?” Natalie pauses, then mumbles, “that doesn’t sound like me.”

Lucifer barks a laugh, and Natalie jumps.

“No,” he says, thoughtfully, “you’d usually ask me to tell you a story. But considering you’re still trying to get used to the idea of me, I figured that would be overwhelming.”

“Oh.” Natalie retreats back into herself, chewing on her bottom lip, not paying any attention at all to the stars. She glances at him again a minute later, and Lucifer sighs.

“Yes?”

“By stories…” Natalie starts hesitantly, “do you mean, like… do you mean  _ your _ —”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

Lucifer has a feeling she’s not quite done yet, so he waits for her to voice her next question by counting stars.

“Did I… Did I have a favorite?”

“If you did, I didn’t know it. You made me tell you a different one every time.”

“Oh.”

“You’re a riveting conversationalist.”

Natalie flushes indignantly, but she can’t even argue with him because she knows she’s not giving very much. She thinks it’s hardly fair, either way, when only one of them has a comprehensive memory of their time together.

“You don’t have to be a jerk.”

“I kind of do.” He gives her a smile that she doesn’t think is very scary, all things considered, and gestures to himself. “Devil.”

Natalie stares at him, and he holds her eyes as long as he’s able. He hates that he has to look away first, that she has so much power over him and she doesn’t even  _ know  _ it.

But she’s oblivious to his inner conflict. She looks away, too, and back up at the stars. She thinks of everything he’s told her, of the months they spent together that are lost on her.

She wonders if the stars themselves contain any of those memories. If those long nights laying together on a blanket in the grass would reveal themselves to her if she just reached out far enough to grasp one.

Unable to help herself, she looks over at him again, and she thinks of the lengths he’s gone to to make her comfortable around him.

He must feel her eyes on him again, because he tenses and turns to look at her again. She knows he’s trying to remain patient, and she thinks it’s a mighty effort for someone like him, so she appreciates it.

“Why are you doing this?” she asks softly, before he can say anything. The question surprises him, and it takes a second for him to compose himself enough to answer.

“I already told you, kid. You’re… you’re my best friend.”

Natalie is quiet for several moments, growing drowsy under the weight of the warm summer night and the blanket of stars.

“And you love me?” she finally murmurs, turning her half lidded gaze from the sky to examine his profile. He turns to meet her eyes, glad for the darkness that hides how his face warms.

“...Yeah.”

Natalie makes a little sound in her throat, nods, and looks away from him again. She falls quiet again, for so long he thinks she’s fallen asleep.

There’s only her breathing and the distant, occasional rumble of a car on the freeway, which is why he’s so surprised when she does speak,  _ secondsminuteshours _ later.

“I think I get it now,” she whispers, but she might have shouted for how her words ring in his ears until they’re all he can hear, “why I loved you, too.”

The night is almost oppressively warm but goosebumps rise on his skin anyways, and he’s thankful he doesn’t need to breathe because he’s sure she would have just knocked all the air from his lungs with that sleepy confession.

She hasn’t even opened her eyes, just curled in on herself, an arm tucked under her head like a pillow. She’s the picture of calm, which Lucifer thinks is unfair when she’s just rocked his entire world.

Something warm and reaching crawls up through his veins, up his throat, and he has to bite off the question  _ Do you think you could again? _ He tips his head back against the grass and lets that hope consume him, anyways.

_ I think I get it now _ , the wind carries her voice, over and over again, long after she really has fallen asleep,  _ why I loved you, too _ .

Lucifer exhales.


End file.
